The End: When Hearts Grow Cold

This blog began in July 2006 as an attempt to reach others going through a similar situation. In essence a blog for and about men who, having been in long-term relationships found themselves left behind and alone as their partner moved on with someone else. I’m talking 25, 30, 40, even 45 years. Mine lasted 30 years, but was not all it appeared on the surface.

Well, today I learned that the first man to find and comment on this blog took his life last weekend.

His previous relationship lasted 42 years and although we were in frequent contact over these two years, he never rid himself of the idea that he was to blame; that he did everything wrong; that he deserved what happened.

Nothing I wrote in response seemed to have a positive impact on him and that saddened me. He just couldn’t find the way to himself and freedom. Being European and Irish may have had something to do with his attitude and mental state.

There are others who have found solace here while rethinking their own situations and have picked themselves up and gotten on with life.

Prayers ascend for his soul and family; I hope he has found peace.

That said, this blog ends today.

It’s time to move on.

No more later.

It's Been Ten Years

From the Progressive via Common Dreams, by Steve Ralls:

It has been 10 years since openly gay college student Matthew Shepard was brutally killed in Wyoming. On Oct. 6, 1998, he was beaten and strung up on a fence. He died six days later.

Unfortunately, little has been done to curb such attacks, and elected leaders at the state and federal level are largely missing-in-action when it comes to protecting our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) loved ones.

In the days and weeks immediately following Shepard's death, numerous elected leaders promised swift action to pass federal hate crimes legislation that would protect LGBT Americans.

Ten years later, the bill, which bears Shepard's name, has never become law.

The need for the law is as urgent now as it was in 1998. Hate crimes against the LGBT community increased 24 percent nationwide last year, according to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs. Especially startling increases occurred in Michigan (up 207 percent), Minnesota (up 135 percent) and even in Los Angeles, which saw a 100 percent increase in anti-gay violence in 2007.

Anti-gay murders doubled, the coalition reported.

In California, student Lawrence King was gunned down in his school by a classmate who believed King was gay.

In Colorado, Angie Zapata, a young transgender woman, was attacked and killed while on a date.

In South Carolina, Sean Kennedy was viciously beaten outside a local gay bar, and later died from his injuries.

And now Matt's autopsy results are among missing records in Wyoming.

If you have never seen The Laramie Project, please do. If you want to support the fight against hate go to the Matthew Shepard Foundation and learn more.

More later.
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Katrina? In Connecticut?

Oh, this is not good. From the WSJ:

Greenwich, Connecticut is a rich enclave of hedge fund managers- and thus is feeling the pain of the current financial crisis like a ton of bricks. Ned Lamont, a Greenwich resident who ran for Senate in 2006, says, 'This is our Katrina.' ...

First Selectman Peter Tesei said Wall Street affects everything from philanthropic contributions to a potential increase in public school enrollment if some families can no longer afford private schools. A recently laid-off trader who was making several million dollars annually 'is not going to be able to donate the $200,000 they did in the past' to charities, Tesei said.

Ray in New Orleans nails those comments:

Ned Lamont, you are hereby designated Fuckmook of the Week. And in a week where Sarah Palin is going to actually attend the VP debate, the world economy is crashing into dust, and Joe Torre is going to to the playoffs in a Dodgers cap, that's saying a fucking lot.

If this was really your Katrina, then you would feel more pain than not being able to donate $200,000 to charities. You'd be looking to charities to feed you. Your kids would not be going to public schools, because there wouldn't be any more public schools. You wouldn't be looking at downsizing your house, your house would be gone, you would be unemployed and homeless and still making payments on a mold-infested wreck while your insurer ass-raped you and Congress and the President didn't think your problems were worth more than a few floor speeches, never mind a special session to hand out $700 billion to you and your friends.

If this was really your Katrina, I would feel for you, man. Because you would be facing such total destruction and demoralization, and you would have to face it without being able to take solace in brass bands or real food or Mardi Gras, because when all is said and done, you still live in a shithole called Connecticut.

Worse, the Yankee half of Connecticut.

Note to Ned; Don't use the name KATRINA to describe what are your financial failings and bad investments have brought upon you. Maybe a visit to NOLA would help you understand why your words are so insulting.

Thanks Ray.

Muppets do Palin.

Someone should have told them that there are no strings with muppets. Anyway, you get the idea.
more later.

NOLA Mayor, C. Ray Nagin is an Idiot!

NOLA (absentee) mayor C. Ray Nagin is a star in his own mind and a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Here's his latest "gift" to the evacuees from Houston in the face of Ike. From the Times Picayune online.

Mary Jane Bernard arrived at the Best Western French Quarter Hotel on Rampart Street on Friday morning with what she thought was a simple request.

"When we got there, we asked for the Ray Nagin special, " said Bernard, a Baytown, Texas, resident who was evacuating in advance of Hurricane Ike with her sister. What she got, though, was a perplexed front desk worker and the opportunity to star in a scene replayed at least a few times Friday.

In a news conference Thursday afternoon, Mayor Ray Nagin had encouraged Texas evacuees to book hotel rooms in New Orleans by requesting the "Mayor Ray Nagin special rate."

The offer was designed, the mayor said, "to say to our friends in Houston and Texas that we want to take care of you, since you have taken care of us, " according to a transcript of his remarks. Thousands of New Orleanians evacuated to Texas shelters and hotels because of Hurricane Katrina.

Trouble is, as Bernard found out, the special rate doesn't exist.

You just can't make this stuff up. Read the rest HERE

And so it goes.
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Social Aid from Social Networks

From Wet Bank Guy:

I want to call out two blogger initiated relief campaigns for people suffering from Hurricanes Gustav and Ike. First, the blogger Patrap who writes on a blog hosted at Weather Underground and frequently contributes in the comments on Dr. Jeff Master’s tropical weather blog, is organizing a truck of relief for Texas.

He is co-ordinating with a 501c3 so donations will be tax deductible, and working with a local blogger in the Galveston area to make sure the supplies are what is needed and get to people on the ground who need them most.

Since this is an effort coordinated by a fellow New Orleans blogger, I want to encourage the NOLA social media (bloggers and readers alike) to step up to assist Patrick in his effort.

The details are below:

Updated 4:27 pm with a new mailing address. Be sure to mark checks for Texas Hurricane Relief to ensure they are routed to Patrick’s effort.

We are coordinating a Relief Push for the Galveston area by Thursday.
We are renting a 16ft Budget truck to fill with relief supplies.
If you want to help you can contact Patrap via the Weather Underground site mail (if you have a Wunderground.com login), or you can donate cash support:

SEND to:

If sending Check..be sure to Memo it “Texas Hurricane Relief”.

Portlight Strategies, Inc.
2043 Maybank Hwy.
Charleston, SC 29412
MEMO: Hurricane Ike Relief

Or you can donate via Pay Pal.

We will send a Receipt with the Truck Manifest.

Check or Money Orders only. Thanks for responding.

NOLA owes Texas and we aim to help..in a Hurry.

The fiscal sponsor of Pat’s WU blogger initiative will be Portlight Strategies, Inc., a 501c3 nonprofit tax exempt organization founded in 1997 for the purpose of providing medical equipment and other services primarily to people with disabilities. This was also the host organization for the Spirit of ADA Torch relay which visited 24 cities in celebration of the 10th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act.All funds will be transparently accounted for in a separate dedicated account and posted on Pat’s blog and are a matter of public record through the organizations IRS Form 990 which can be reviewed at Charity Navigator or the IRS. For the last 6 years over 90% of all donated funds to this group have gone to direct program services.

ALL Checks received via mail will be endorsed and deposited into the non-profit account.

Pat

Two other efforts I want everyone to keep in mind are the drive started by Karen Gadbois of Squandered Heritage and Matri of Matri’s VatulBlog to help one of Louisiana’s most vulnerable communities, the native people of the United Houma Nation.

Please see Karen’s and Matri’s blog posts, and do what you can to help.

Finally, I want people to be aware of an opportunity to help the people of Haiti, the poorest and least developed nation in the Western Hemisphere. This tiny nation has been devastated by multiple hurricanes this year, people are desperately in need of assistance.

Gonaives, Haiti after Hurricane Hanna

While we on the Hurricane Coast have suffered, imagine life in hurricane ravaged Haiti. For all of the ridiculous failures of the central government to aid the people of coastal Louisiana, our resources are enormous compared to those of either the people or government of Haiti.

Even as we reach out to help our own, please dont’ forget Haiti. Read about the Lambi Fund’s efforts there and do what you can.

Thanks.
Mark Folse (Wet Bank Guy)
http://www.toulousestreet.net

Give as you are led.

More later.

People Flee Inland as IKE Approaches Texas

Although it won't make landfall for about 18 hours, this may have a horrible ending.

HOUSTON — Cars and trucks streamed inland and chemical companies buttoned up their plants Thursday as a gigantic Hurricane Ike took aim at the heart of the U.S. refining industry and threatened to send a wall of water crashing toward Houston.

Nearly 1 million people along the Texas coast were ordered to evacuate ahead of the storm, which was expected to strike late tonight or early Saturday. But in a calculated risk aimed at avoiding total gridlock, authorities told most people in the nation’s fourth-largest city to just hunker down.

Ike was steering almost directly for Houston, where gleaming skyscrapers, the nation’s biggest refinery and NASA’s Johnson Space Center lie in areas vulnerable to wind and floodwaters. Forecasters said the storm was likely to come ashore as a Category 3, with winds up to 130 mph.

But the storm was so big — literally almost the size of Texas — that it could inflict a punishing blow even in those areas that do not get a direct hit. Forecasters warned that because of its size and the state’s shallow coastal waters, Ike could produce a surge, or wall of water, 20 feet high and waves of perhaps 50 feet. It could also dump 10 inches or more of rain.

The rest of the story is at the Star-Telegram.

Please keep those in harm's way in prayer. It's going to be a rough few days for the Gulf coast.

More later.

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Hanna is History - Ike is on the Way

September is said to be by far the worst month of the hurricane season and seems to be the case this year.

Still no power in many places around the Gulf following Gustav; if Hanna had not come ashore in NC, but skirted the Atlantic coast on its way northward the damage in the mid-Atlantic region would have been much worse. As it was wind speeds recorded along the coast here were up to 55 miles per hour at the peak of the storm yesterday afternoon. And while the sound of rain beating against window panes is relaxing, the scratching noise of twigs and small branches doing the same is unnerving.

Now Ike is tearing across Cuba and into the Gulf threatening more damage along the coast of 5 states.

And let's not forget that all three of these storms ground up and spit out Cuba, Haiti, and the Dominican Republic, and small island chains - and it's only September 7th.

Haven't surveyed the tree damage here yet, but I'm sure things will be under control by this afternoon. I'm still recouping and tomorrow is a work day.

Maybe I'll write more when I get my strength back and I'm running on higher energy.

More later.

Still Here...

But only just. Personal and health issues have knocked me for a loop. Not to mention the concern about the parade of hurricanes that just doesn't seem to end.

I hope to post again over the coming weekend.

Be kind to one another and don't shoot anybody in the face.

More later.

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McCain Against the Katrina Commission.

John Aravosis nails it at Americablog:

Keep in mind, Mccain voted against the Katrina Commission to hold the Bush Administration accountable for their disastrous non-handling of the previous hurricane. He voted against extending unemployment benefits to Katrina victims. He voted against Medicaid for Katrina victims. He voted against funding the Army Corps of Engineers. He sought and received the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee after Hagee said Katrina was God's punishment against New Orleans. And finally, McCain celebrated his birthday with his bff George Bush and a big cake the very minute that Katrina was destroying New Orleans. McCain has already been battle-tested in disaster response. And he lost.

And being initially Denied Intervention I have no hope that there will be any input for me.

More later.
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Cat House on the Kings Needs Your Help

This made my day as Gustav targets Louisiana, and Texas. The animals need to be saved, too.

I needed this, especially in light of the many pets left behind during Katrina; cruelly left to die alone or with their humans who would not leave them.

Give as you are led.

Oh, and yes, I cry easily when it comes to animals.

Three Years Ago Today.

More later.
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Chaplin Speaks: Listen to His Words.

A favourite scene from one of my favourite Chaplin films, but I am sure I will share others later. His words should be heeded now more than ever.

I once owned this film on VHS when home video was new back in 1977 and I paid a whopping $100.00 for the two-tape set. I have no idea what happened to it after the break up, but I hear there is a new, restored version on DVD and I am sure it will be a better visual experience and at least a 5th of the price paid for the tapes.

More later.
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What Bush Said - And Didn't, in NOLA

Harry Shearer is the only "celebrity" who has followed the story and written essays about Katrina throughout these long three years. Over at HuffPo, he takes on Bush's speech yesterday at Jackson Barracks in NOLA:

"Never before has our nation seen such destruction by nature."

It's almost three years after the federal levees failed and flooded 80% of New Orleans, and George W. Bush stood today in Jackson Barracks, the National Guard h.q. in the Lower Ninth Ward, and spoke those words. They were not an ad lib, they were part of his written text. His speechwriters and advisors found it advisable to ignore three independent forensic engineering studies, and the Corps of Engineers' own 6000-page report, and blame the flooding on "nature."

He also said "we don't want to repeat the mistakes of the past," in regard to the Corps' work in rebuilding the levees and floodwalls. Yet there has not been a true accountability moment for the Corps, which one federal judge has said "knowingly" built a deficient system, under Congressional mandate, that failed to protect the city under conditions it was supposed to withstand. So we can ignore the reasons for the "mistakes of the past," and yet avoid repeating them?

As disturbing as the words he spoke were the words Bush never mentioned: in almost half an hour of remarks citing indications of progress in New Orleans since the disaster and citing the work that still needs to be done, the President never uttered the words "coastal restoration." When he bragged that he had, after protracted urging by the Governor and the state's Congressional delegation, allowed Louisiana to repay the federal share of levee rebuilding over thirty years instead of three, he said he didn't think the state should have to choose between better levees and "other" urgent programs. What is the urgent program the state is free to spend the money on? Coastal restoration, the rebuilding of the wetlands being lost at the rate of a football field every hour or so -- but the state's spending plans fall considerably short of what's needed to repair the buffer that protects New Orleans from more severe hurricanes, an area that also serves as the source for 40% of the nation's fresh seafood. If we can't even utter those words, can we face the task of repairing "the mistakes of the past"?

Gotta admit, the guy's got balls, to come to New Orleans and say, and not say, what he did. What's really amazing is that people gathered in Jackson Barracks, whoever they were, applauded him.

UPDATE: For those who insist on seeing all this through a purely partisan lens, a corrective note: After the Presidential debate commission rejected NO as a debate site ("not ready to host a major event"), the local org Women of the Storm partnered with Google/YouTube to sponsor an independent debate, and invited both candidates. McCain accepted, Obama declined. Just sayin'.

Thanks, Harry.

More later.

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I Am a Wine!

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest. Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat.

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Yes, well...

More later.

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Three Years After Katrina - NYT Editorial.

Seems the Gray Lady has finally awakened and this is the best she can do:

The pace of recovery is slowing in New Orleans as the city approaches the third anniversary of Hurricane Katrina late this month. The next president and Congress will need to expedite assistance before the city’s mood turns from guarded optimism back to despair.

With a mélange of federal, state, city and private recovery efforts under way, it is difficult to grasp what is really happening in the stricken city. Fortunately, two reports on New Orleans’s condition have just been issued by authoritative outside organizations.

The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation released its second survey of the attitudes and experiences of the city’s residents. The good news is that 6 in 10 Katrina survivors say that their lives are almost or largely back to normal, and most see recovery moving in the right direction. The bad news is that 4 in 10 respondents say their lives are still disrupted, and more than 7 in 10 see little or no progress in making housing affordable or in controlling crime, which they view as the city’s top problem. Smaller majorities see little or no progress in making medical services available, strengthening public schools, attracting jobs or rebuilding neighborhoods.

These perceptions are largely consistent with an index of progress compiled by the Brookings Institution and the Greater New Orleans Community Data Center. Their third-year report finds that the greater New Orleans area has recovered the vast majority of its pre-Katrina population and jobs but that recovery trends have slowed in the past year. Tens of thousands of blighted properties, a lack of affordable housing and thin public services continue to plague the city. Rents are 46 percent higher than before the storm.

(But salaries remain too low for even the rare affordable housing.)

New Orleans residents expressed mixed attitudes about their prospects. Three-fourths told Kaiser that they remained optimistic about the future even though most felt that both Washington and the American public have largely forgotten them. What is worrisome is that half of the residents are dissatisfied with or angry about the lack of progress, most think it is a bad time for children to grow up in New Orleans and 22 percent (predominantly young) are seriously considering moving away.

Unless government agencies and private organizations pick up the pace of recovery efforts, New Orleans may see its future pack up and go with them.

Like I said, this was the best the NYT could come up with. Maybe they could give a call to Harry Shearer for more information on the NOLA situation.

More later.
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